My Niece Has Made Her DEBUT!

It was 7:49 pm on May 20, 2009 when my beautiful niece Kenna Cheryl Summers arrived. It was a very exhausting and emotional day for everyone, especially for my sister since she was the one giving birth. It was not surprising when my sister became upset when the Dr. told her she would have to undergo a c-section. It was wonderful to see everyone come together to reassure my sister Rachel that everything would be fine.

The surprise to me was my emotional state when we were told that Rachel would have to undergo the c-section. I suddenly realized that I would not be in the room when Kenna made her debut in this world. It was my one opportunity to experience the birth of a baby since I would never experience it myself. I did everything I could to hold myself together until Rachel left the room. Once she was gone I fell apart. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my feelings so I removed myself from the situation. How dare I think of myself at this joyous moment, but then I realized that it was okay for me to feel this way. I could be sad and angry for me and Scot. It was okay to grieve the child that I would never give birth to in this life. After pulling myself together, I returned to my loving and supporting family. Once we were able to see Kenna and Rachel, the sorrow was replaced by joy. It was so exciting to see my little sister become a mom for the first time, and that Kenna was the first grandchild on my side of the family.

I still have my moments that I wish I too could give birth. However, those moments are being replaced with thoughts of Scot and I receiving our little one through adoption. Those thoughts are more often when I see Rachel and Kenna together, when I hold Kenna in my own arms, or when I see the way Scot looks at Kenna while he's holding her. The love I have for my niece is indescribable. If my love is this strong for my niece then I can only imagine the bond and love I will have when I hold my child in my arms one day soon. I pray for that day to be soon and I know Scot does too. This adoption adventure is a process that will soon come full circle.

It's so wonderful to see Rachel radiating with love and joy. Kenna has to be the most wonderful thing that has happened to this family is a very long time. I know Rachel will be the most wonderful mother to her. Enjoy the pictures of my niece Kenna Cheryl Summers.